Dear Half Pint,
I have been wanting to date this girl, and I don't know how to ask her out. I have liked her for a while and I want her to like me! What should I do?
UMSL-GUY
Dear UMSL-GUY
Stop-it! You do not like her. You are like a little baby. "I wanna girlfriend", you are a bitch. Ninjas do not need girls, all they need is knives and tight black clothing.
Editor's Note: This article is to be considered parody and not based in fact. It is part of our annual April Fools Edition.




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