Loved one's death can heal

Loss is hard. To quote Joan Baez, "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got 'till it's gone." I know that sounds cliché, but in the end, it's true. Last week, I lost my Aunt Kathleen to cancer of the, well, pretty much everything. Breast cancer, brain, bone, blood, uterine, lung, you name it, she had it. This marked the second time in my life that someone close to me has died of cancer and it doesn't get any easier. But there are things that can be taken away from such sad occasions. Often times, it is easy to look back on the death of a loved one with sorrow and pain. In my case, my aunt suffered for quite a long time before she succumbed to cancer. Over two years, she battled and battled hard, putting her body through untold agonies in, an ultimately vain, effort to defeat the undefeatable. It would be easy for me to look back and see her in the hospital, her frock of red hair gone, lying in a hospital bed. In the wake of this, however, I have chosen to look back at her days of health and humor. I remember going to Door Country, Wis. and watching her smile. Psychiatrists say there are steps to grieving. Denial, anger, acceptance and several others I can't remember. I don't know about all that. Often times, I look at things like that as so much psychobabble. I really rather bypass those things and just remember. For those of you out there that have lost someone, that is perhaps the best advice I could ever offer. Remember. Remember the days and nights where you just had a good time being in their company. Remember the vacations and the summer picnics in the backyard. Remember just loving that person. I am not the most religious person on the planet, but I have my beliefs. I believe that some people are called home, sometimes too early it seems. I believe that God does indeed want some people home with him earlier than others, and my Aunt Kathleen was one of them. Now, if you will indulge me, I would like to quote Green Day part and parcel: "Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life. So take the photographs and still frames in your mind. Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time. Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial. For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life. It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life." Indeed Kathleen, I hope you had the time of your life, because you certainly helped me have mine.