"The warnings about global warming have been extremely clear for a long time. We are facing a global climate crisis. It is deepening. We are entering a period of consequences."
This quote by former Vice President Al Gore exemplifies many people's take on the 'threat' of global warming.
Maybe it is true that the ozone layer is being depleted rapidly, temperatures around the globe are rising and the polar ice caps are melting, and sure, it has been proven that higher ocean temperatures have led to stronger and more frequent hurricanes.
My question is: Why does no one look at the benefits of global warming?
Although I am a rather rotund fellow and get sunburned faster than an albino on his annual trip to the sun, I love the beach. The ocean air, the surf, the sand, the cooler full of adult beverages, a trip to the beach is a great way to spend a day.
The problem is that I live in St. Louis, which leaves the nearest beach (that isn't attached to a fairly disgusting river or lake) approximately 600 miles away, and that is to the Gulf of Mexico, which still does not really count. As ocean levels rise, wouldn't that just bring the ocean closer?
Think about it. You look eastward through the wondrous Gateway Arch, and where Sauget once stood is a vast ocean. St. Louis is notorious for its summer heat and humidity. What better way to combat that heat than with a nice, cool ocean breeze?
An ocean in St. Louis would be a huge economic boom as well. A renewed tourism industry would provide many new jobs, and with the location near the beach the blight that is north St. Louis City would become valuable property.
Who wouldn't want a condo with a view of both O'Fallon Park and the Atlantic Ocean?
I am sure by now many of you are asking why I do not just pack up and move to the coast.
Well as strange as it may seem, I like St. Louis. I have been here my entire life and it is home. There are many things in this city that would be hard to leave; the Cardinals, the Rams, my friends, my family, and the St. Louis Blues. If I cannot drive to a Blues game in 20 or less minutes; I am a very unhappy guy.
There is also the question about remorse for all of those cities and states that would no longer exist. New York City is obviously a great and iconic city, but it is also inhabited by Mets and Yankees fans, so it can go. Boston is historical, sure, but it is full of Red Sox and Patriots fans, so it too can take a hike.
As for Washington DC, yes it is our capitol and the history there would be hard to recreate, but there is precedent as it has already moved twice during our history.
What would be so hard about moving it again?
Most of the other states and cities are fairly inconsequential, as the ones like Florida that used to have beaches will just be replaced by the 'New East Coast'.
For those of you that may be aghast at my seeming lack of respect for United States history please consider the words of one Dwight D. Eisenhower: "Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him."
The future is coming, and that future is global warming. I will be the guy out in the front lawn spraying aerosol at the ozone layer.
All in the name of progress, of course.
