Awareness is key in date rape prevention

The night started like so many others. Friends give you a call and ask if you would like to hit a party. Someone was handing out flyers advertising this year's biggest bash. How could you not go?

You take the time to get dressed up; you never know how many cute guys (or women) will be there. The party is as advertised, the place is packed. People are dancing. People are talking. Everywhere you look, people are hooking up and making out in corners, on couches, in rooms.

You notice a guy, good looking, with nice sideburns. He notices you as well. You smile at each other and he comes over to talk. Things are going well.

"Boyfriend material?" you ask yourself. Perhaps.

Then he says he is going to get another beer and asks if you want one. Of course, it is a party, after all. That is when trouble strikes.

When he comes back, with another beer, you continue your conversation about friends, family, major and extracurricular activities.

Soon, you notice you are feeling decidedly drunk. But how could that be? You have only had a couple of beers, way too soon to be feeling drunk.

The world starts to swim in and out of focus. Your arms and legs begin to feel as though they weigh 400 pounds. Your speech is slurred and you feel as though you may throw up.

"Something is not right here," you think to yourself. And that's when the world goes black. You remember nothing else about the night. When you wake up, you are in your room on the floor. Your underwear is gone and you are feeling ill. You feel as though you may have had sex, but certainly do not remember doing so. What happened last night? You are the latest victim of drug facilitated sexual assault or "date rape."

Unfortunately, the scenario above is becoming all too common. With an abundance of so-called date rape drugs available, some easily made in the home, this is a problem that is reaching near epidemic proportions.

According to the Center for Disease Control, between 20 and 25 percent of college women have been victims of attempted or completed rape. Fully 300,000 rapes are reported per 12-month period by women, and 90,000 are reported by men.

However, officials believe that the vast majority of rapes go unreported. According to the CDC, it is believed that only 39 percent of rapes are actually reported.

Date rape is by far the most common form of rape. While the image of a man lurking in a dark alley waiting to spring out and rape the first woman he sees persists, eight out of every 10 rapes are perpetrated by someone with whom the victim had at least a passing acquaintance.

Rape is defined as any forced or violent penetrative act against one of the party's will. This includes not only forced vaginal sex, but anal and oral sex as well. They all apply, and are all open to prosecution.

Prevention is key

Unfortunately, there are only a few ways to limit your chances of date rape. Short of living your life in a safe room in your basement, there are precautions women and men can take to lessen their chances of an incident.

According to UM-St. Louis Chief of Police Bob Roesler, common sense is the most important ally a person can have when preventing date rape. First and foremost, avoid getting intoxicated.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes for an easy target for the "designer" date rape drugs.

Even though alcohol is a favorite target for predators, Roesler said people should not let down their guard when drinking things as mundane as soda or coffee.

"Be cautious when drinking even non-alcoholic beverages," Roesler said. "People will use drugs like Rohipnol to facilitate their actions in regular drinks as well."

Roesler also suggests designating a driver when going to a party, as that person will usually be responsible and make sure everyone who went to the party also leaves the party.

It is also important to leave contact information when going out on a date or to a party, Roesler said, so people will know how to make contact if worries arise.

It also is a good idea to check in periodically while at a party or on a date.

"It's not childish," Roesler said. "It's unfortunate, but some people are treacherous out there."

While the measures listed above will help, constant vigilance is a person's only true protection against date rape.

So the question becomes, how can a person actually enjoy a social life when the threat of date rape is very real?

People do not want to go about locking themselves in their rooms, and the simple fact is, the great majority of people are not out to "score" via date rape drugs or alcohol.

Roesler says that people do not have to live scared, just to be aware of their surroundings and not put themselves in situations that could lead to sexual assault.

"Good people make bad mistakes sometimes," Roesler said. "Obviously 'no' means no, but some people think they are entitled to do what they wish."

Joyce Mushaben, professor of political and social sciences, says that in order to begin large scale prevention, the way boys are raised needs to change.

"The only way to start resolving this issue is to fundamentally change the way we raise our young males," she said.

Additionally, the culture of modern America, where sex sells, is a problem, Mushaben said.

"By telling our youth just say no, we are setting up a dichotomy," she said. "No, no, no, but everything is completely sexed up."

After the attack

The great majority of people who fall victim to sexual assault do not report it.

The decision to go to the hospital or the police is the decision of the victim. According to Lori Tagger, counseling psychologist at UM-St. Louis' counseling services, it is important to seek medical attention.

"Go to the hospital or an emergency room if at all possible," Tagger said. "All the evidence vanishes with the first shower, and if you want to pursue legal action, all that evidence is gone."

If, for some reason, you decide not to report the assault, it is important to tell someone what happened.

Mushaben said another problem women face is the prospect of a trial.

"Trials and the media are destined to drag the woman through the slime," she said.

People at UM-St. Louis are available to help. Again, the first line of action is to report the incident to the authorities.

Many victims of date rape believe they "had it coming to them."

Whether dressing in a provocative way or being flirtatious, it does not matter. No one has it coming to him. The act of date rape is a violation, a violent act that no one deserves, Tagger said.

On campus, the Trauma Center and the Counseling Center are set up to help students through such a horrific, life altering experience.

"We are available to help," Tagger said. "Unfortunately, we do have experiences in helping people deal with this."

Many victims go into denial after an attack, according to Tagger, especially since most rapes are perpetrated by someone the victim knows.

"Victims often dismiss it," she said. "They minimize it, saying 'it wasn't really a rape."

Rape also can be traumatic on friends and family of the victim. Tagger said the most important thing to do for victims is to believe them.

"It's pretty upsetting to hear," she said. "But that is not the time to start doubting the person."

It is important to remember that the victims lost power and control over their bodies in the attack, and one of the best ways to help is to allow them to regain that control.

One more thing... No matter what you may have heard, no matter what you are feeling, even if you feel the tests may humiliate you, it is best to report the incident.

There is the aspect of your own health and healing to know the person responsible for this act is going to be punished.

Additionally, health concerns will need to be addressed, including the possible spread of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.