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DDSD has brought up a very important point when it comes to sexual hygiene. We call it ‘doing the dirty,’ because it pretty much is. Think about it. We exchange fluids, we sweat … and the smells! Sex would seem pretty foul to us if we weren’t into that sort of thing.

As Americans, we place a high importance on hygiene: you should smell good, look good, and then, feel good. However, there are always people who miss out on the memo.
What then should you do when you come across one of these people? Well, there are a few options.

Option 1: Dump them

This is the easiest way to deal with the problem, DDSD. If you aren’t too deep into the relationship just yet—lose their number. You know you’ve done it before.
However, the circumstances have to be right. Don’t go dumping someone you work with and who you will have to see five days a week, 9-5. That would make for some awkward water-cooler gossip.
This does not work for everybody though. If you like the person and still want to continue with him/her—or if you think it would hurt their feelings—there are other options.

Option 2: Head-on collision

Say to them, “Last night when I was going down on you, I was picking hair from my teeth for five minutes. Can you please shave?”

Whether the concern is their ‘70s style au natural pubic hair that is gagging you, or they don’t keep their foreskin clean—just be honest about the issue. Maybe your girl isn’t fresh down below and needs to see a doctor about that possible yeast infection. Any of these are legitimate reasons to speak with your partner.
No one should have to deal with anything unpleasant when they are having sex. This is the most direct way to deal with the problem, and leaves no room for miscommunication or misconceptions due to indirect hints.

Option 3: The soft and pink approach

Some people cannot be direct about any awkward issue, no matter what. If this is you DDSD, all hope is not lost. There are ambiguous ways to hint to your partner and skirt the awkward conversation about bad hygiene.

For example, suggest taking a shower together if you like a clean and fresh person to have sex with. Simply push until he or she gives in, but be coy and tactful about it. Once he/she starts to notice that every time you all get down to business you are suggesting a shower, your partner will catch up.

Sadly, interventions on pubic landscaping are not as subtle. It is much more difficult to be indirect when asking a partner to shave or trim their nether regions. Being creative is required for this option. You could mention that a friend was talking about how erotic sex feels when the couple is shaved. Stress the “we” on this one by saying, maybe we should try it.

There are a variety of options here for dealing with the issue at hand, depending on the situation. I always suggest the direct version, unless you are not into your partner enough to deal with the problem. If your partner does not feel like accommodating your request regarding their hygiene, he/she may not be worth the time.

Nick Bishop is a senior working on his bachelor’s degree in psychology, and is an active sexual minority researcher at the undergraduate level. All information given in this column should be taken only at face value, and any major decisions regarding your sexual, physical, or emotional health should be discussed with your medical doctor or mental health professional.

The university Health, Wellness, and Counseling Services, located on the first floor of the MSC, is available to assist any student with issues concerning mental or physical health and wellness, and can be contacted at 314-516-5711.
The advice given in this column is not intended to promote or discourage sex, promiscuity, or infidelity. The advice given to one individual may not be the best advice for another due to possible contrasting circumstances.